So today I am not going to talk about makeup.
I am having a wee bit of crisis at the moment. With yet another birthday looming, I feel strangely depressed and uncertain at the moment.
So I think I am going to take this space, this opportunity and the anonymity that goes with it to talk about something that I have had on my mind for awhile. And that is the topic of marriage.
For the longest time, I thought that I would not get married. I got briefly engaged when I was 20 yr old, and that was probably the worst decision for me. Not only was I not ready for marriage to that guy, I was not ready for marriage, period. And the whole experience kind of left a bad taste in my mouth and left me to associate marriage with failure and youthful naivete.
Imagine my surprise when I first started dating my current boyfriend and, all of a sudden, I began to dream of marriage again. Marriage, kids, etc. It amused and scared me, at the same time.
It's scary to realize that I want all of those things. The cliche way of living - I didn't even care that it is cliche. I want it. I want to be happy, married, and pregnant.
This whole new facet scares me. Have I become mundane? Ordinary? Does it matter anymore?
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